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Soho Farmhouse – 10 things I’ve learned from 10 years of marriage

How? Jeez! Wow! Are just some of the (cleaner) words that sprang to mind when our ten year wedding anniversary was just around the corner. Time flies when you’re having fun hey Mr S! To celebrate I booked a lush weekend at the most talked about ‘Londoner’s country paradise’ – Soho Farmhouse.

a Cotswold hotel & Spa

Soho Farmhouse | Happy married life

Soho Farmhouse | Happy married life

Set in a 100 acres of Oxfordshire, you feel like you’re entering a carefree haven when you drive through the farmhouse gates. On arrival you’re handed a glass of wine, relieved of your car and ferried to your log cabin of dreams.

Soho Farmhouse | Happy married life

I know what you’re thinking – Didn’t anyone tell you not to judge a book by its cover?

Waving good-bye to our personal farmhand who gave us a grand tour of our abode and pointed out the wellies and personalised Foffa bikes (size and height ready), Mr S and I both exchanged the knowing ‘I think we’re gonna like it here’ look.

Soho Farmhouse

Soho Farmhouse | Happy married life

It was the perfect place to enjoy each others company (again) with no interruptions and away from business-as-usual. Discovering that rare commodity of ‘thinking time’, I found myself wondering how we’d reached this milestone and not ended up on the high road to splitsville.

Tips to a happy married life

Now I’m by no means a marital expert, but ten years and two kids later, here’s what I found:

1. Hold on tight 

Soho Farmhouse

Soho Farmhouse

The truth is marriage is bloody hard work. It’s not about the happily ever after that Cinderella has you believe. It’s how you handle yourself on that bumpy road, with many a twist and turn. Not turning into a dragon lady of fire is a good start. Note to self – Must try harder!

Still let’s not get carried away – sometimes you just have to let someone else do the hard work:

Soho Farmhouse

2. Time alone matters 

Soho Farmhouse

Sharing your life doesn’t mean you lose yourself. He likes running 26.2 miles (the devil worshipping freak). I like catching 40 winks or a 60 minute massage. And boy did I indulge in the latter on my weekend break.

Soho Farmhouse

We’re a married couple not siamese twins. ME time is so important. Lose your interests and passions and you’ve both lost what you fell in love with in the first place.

3. Be silly

Soho Farmhouse

Laughter really is the best medicine. Don’t take yourself so damn seriously – Have a cup of tea fully clothed in your outdoor tin bath. The couple that laughs together stays together, or so they say.

4. Home is where the kettle is

Soho Farmhouse

No matter where you are whether it’s London, Manchester or Timbuktu – It’s all about the little, everyday things…like being brought piping hot tea at about 8 o clock in the evening with a ginger nut or two.

5. Mix it up

Soho Farmhouse

Routines are inevitable, especially when you’re spinning a dozen plates. Now and again a fresh injection of something new will stop you both dozing off when it really matters. I find complimentary pre-mixed cocktails in your room can go a long way.

6. Keep dating 

Soho Farmhouse

Remember you’re a couple. Something which can be forgotten, especially when the sprogs come along. Hold hands, say those three special words: ‘Cup of tea?’ – What? They’re special!

Soho Farmhouse

And when you finally escape the chains of the daily grind, talk about anything other than your crazy mini-mes.

7. Different is good

Soho Farmhouse

Accept and respect each others differences. I like to nap, in fact change that to ‘sleep’ for extended periods of time. While Mr S on the other hand is up at the crack of dawn every bloody day.

I have to admit this one is tough – what with my being married to an Arsenal supporter and all –  I do my best not to utter expletives EVERY day.

8. Fighting happens, it’s ok 

Soho Farmhouse

It’s only natural when you live with someone 24-7. The wet towels on the floor, the lost toothpaste cap, to the ‘oops, I forgot to buy the milk – again!’ – Mind you, that’s never an issue at the farmhouse when a fresh pint is delivered daily to your door.

Soho Farmhouse

Being in a relationship is not about guesswork and I’m a great believer in ‘if something bothers you – just say it!’ The odd mad dog bust-up keeps the fires burning.

9. “Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon”

Borrowing from the Dalai Lama here.

Soho Farmhouse

Soho Farmhouse

Food is the key to everyone’s heart. Especially when it’s cooked on your doorstep in a milk float, right?

10. Only one person holds the key to my heart 

I’m glad to say after ten years of hissy fits, obstacles and heartache, mixed in with a lot sunshine and fun too. Benedict Cumberbatch Mr S – you’re still it!

Soho Farmhouse

And finally…

Our weekend jaunt was like taking a step back in time into the lap of luxury. If you’re after a country weekend with all your creature comforts and more  – this is the place for you (deep pockets required). Cabins are £250 for members, non-members £330.

Soho Farmhouse

We celebrated, re-calibrated and looked to the future at this country paradise in the Cotswolds. Here’s to the next decade and many more Mr S.

Soho Farmhouse | Happy married life

What have your friendships and relationships taught you? Have you been somewhere special to celebrate happy married life? Let me know in the comments box below.


Soho Farmhouse | Great Tew | Chipping Norton | OX7 4JS


Soho Farmhouse | Happy married life


  • Claire 22nd May 2016 at 6:58 pm

    What a wonderful way to celebrate! Congratulations on ten years.

    • Sima Sthanakiya 22nd May 2016 at 7:03 pm

      Thank you Claire! We had an amazing time x

  • Monisha 22nd May 2016 at 7:08 pm

    Brilliant article! This place looks incredible – is it child friendly?

    • Sima Sthanakiya 22nd May 2016 at 7:33 pm

      Totally child-friendly. It has a creche and kids club area. With tons to do cycling, horse-riding, zip wires and the pool has family hours for the kids. You will love it!

  • Maria Larkin 22nd May 2016 at 9:34 pm

    Wow – looks fantastic! Great article, mixing it up sure looks good! x

    • Sima Sthanakiya 22nd May 2016 at 10:09 pm

      Thanks lovely. I knew you’d approve of ‘mixing it up’ Xx

  • Amer Phils 23rd May 2016 at 12:07 am

    Congratulations! Lovely place and pictures! The place looks so romantic.

    • Sima Sthanakiya 23rd May 2016 at 6:41 am

      Thanks Amer! It’s a beautiful place.

  • Empire 23rd May 2016 at 8:21 am

    Those are some great tips. The ”mixing it up” is really important, I agree
    Well, congratulations on being married for that long! <3
    I wish you two the best 🙂

    • Sima Sthanakiya 23rd May 2016 at 12:49 pm

      Mixing it up is always good, as long as there are cocktails involved. Thanks!

  • Lubka Henry 23rd May 2016 at 8:32 am

    I must say that this Soho Farmhouse looks pretty amazing and I’d love to go there and take some photos too! :))
    On another note, I’ve been married for nearly a year now and I’m yet to discover how much this changed our relationship. But most importantly, we’re on a learning path together.

    Great post!

    • Sima Sthanakiya 23rd May 2016 at 12:51 pm

      Thanks Lubka! You’re practically still on your honeymoon! The learning never ends.

  • Ana De Jesus 23rd May 2016 at 9:18 am

    Congratulations on 10 years of marriage that is incredible to be able to share so many memories together. I love where you celebrated it is so beautiful xx

    • Sima Sthanakiya 23rd May 2016 at 12:52 pm

      Thank you Ana! It was very special place. I’ll have to probably wait another 10 years to go back again.

  • Nemo 23rd May 2016 at 2:54 pm

    Congrats on 10 years dear. Some words worth noting there, O wise one! x

    • Sima Sthanakiya 23rd May 2016 at 10:27 pm

      Cheers lovely. Always wise

  • Violinkit 23rd May 2016 at 7:35 pm

    Congratulations on your first decade of marriage. I was gobsmacked to see the interior of the cabin you both stayed in ,it was so luxurious compared to the outside. Very quirky location.

    • Sima Sthanakiya 23rd May 2016 at 10:30 pm

      Yes Kathryn, not what you expect from the outside. I wanted to take w everything in the cabin home. Dangerous that they have a Soho home store on site, where you can buy most of the stuff in the cabin.

  • Kage 23rd May 2016 at 7:55 pm

    Great List, Great Pictures and a Great Marriage, hopefully I’ll have a relationship like yours and apply your inspirational advice to it.

    • Sima Sthanakiya 23rd May 2016 at 10:37 pm

      Thank you for your kind words Christopher.
      I’m still learning and will forever be adding to my list.

  • Maggie 24th May 2016 at 6:43 am

    I love this article Sima and you have such a fun writing style! My husband would absolutely love it at Soho Farmhouse so thank you for the inspiration 🙂 xx

    • Sima Sthanakiya 24th May 2016 at 10:17 am

      Maggie, such kind words. You guys will have a ball at Soho Farmhouse x

  • lilytravella 24th May 2016 at 10:48 am

    People forget it’s totally fine and normal to fight with your partner. Healthy. Great post, the photos are amazing and I love the rustic country feel of the place!

    • Sima Sthanakiya 24th May 2016 at 11:00 am

      True Lily. How dull would it be if you agreed on everything?!

  • Katie 24th May 2016 at 7:00 pm

    Happy anniversary! You got some incredible photos, and that’s great life advice.

  • Euge Nia 24th May 2016 at 7:03 pm

    What an amazing place to celebrate such an important event! Congratulations on 10 years of marriage! Your post and photos are simply fantastic!

  • Reena @ The Lifestyle Enthusiast 4th May 2017 at 2:47 pm

    Loved this post! Possibly my favourite post of yours, Sima! Congratulations on 10 years and thanks for sharing such lovely pics. Still haven’t made it to Soho House but would love to!

    • Sima Sthanakiya 4th May 2017 at 3:17 pm

      Ahhh thanks Reena, that’s really sweet. 11 years this Sunday! I can’t quite believe it. Soho Farmhouse is a gem, keep it high on your wanderlust list x

  • Sammy Summers 2nd November 2018 at 12:07 pm

    This is really lovely, such beautiful words! Must.Go.To.Sohofarmhouse!!!!!!!

    • Sima Sthanakiya 2nd November 2018 at 6:41 pm

      Ahh thanks Sammy! And. YES. YOU. MUST!

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